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Thursday, 3 May 2012

Late Twenties living with M.S

Now I had a label for what was wrong with me all those really strange symptoms not being a fully functioning human being like every other human.

I had dreams and aspirations just like everyone else but for me they were well out of my reach. I was never going to be a pro tennis player or a professional dancer, or a professional horse rider. ( yes these were my dreams)
All of this was taken from me because of my illness many years before.

The Neurologist told me "It's M.S you just have to make the best of it and try and get support contact the M.S Society, contact Social Services adapt your life. I would advise you give up your career in Hotel & Catering Management as this is a very stressful career".

I really did feel very low, the company I was working for at the time found out about my diagnoses and let me go.

Now I was given some devastating news about my health and I lost my Job could it get any worse?

Over the years since the bite I had gone from being a bright, intelligent, active human to a human whose I.Q had rapidly depleted, unable to be active, not so bright anymore.

I had gone to Doctor after Doctor , had x-rays, blood tests, Cat scans, MRI scans basically pushed from piller to post.
I was given numerous drugs from antidepressants, Morphine, steroids, the list goes on and on.

My I.Q had been tested at 3 different hospitals I was told that "You will never be able to tie your own shoes, ride a bike, drive a car, tell the time, handle money, count, read, write".! 
Well none of the above was true as i was already doing the majority of the above anyway.
Nobody put 2 and 2 together all these years of suffering. 

I ended up in hospital for 3 months because I lost my ability to swallow and had to be fed through a feeding tube, I also lost my sight,hearing , my bladder function, bowel function ability to walk.
A very good friend of mine gave me a book "You can heal your Life" by Louise L Hay.
I thought oh well why not nothing else is helping me is it?

 I had lost my career, my job my health was rapidly going downhill nothing seemed to be going right for me at all.
When I finally got my swallow, sight, hearing, bladder, bowels and ability to walk i was discharged from hospital.
I started to piece together my life again, I managed to get a job at a local newspaper selling adverts my health was getting better, I was in remission.

I got a flat and met my husband (we got married and found a house together) I had to give up my job with the newspaper but  everything had started to get better at last.
My husband and I decided to have children as I had been advised that with M.S it is best to have children before one reaches 30.
We had two beautiful children and while I was pregnant I defiantly went into a sort of remission not much though,  I still needed help with everyday life and my sight would come and go and my hearing would come and go and so it goes on.
 My husband and I just adapted to this way of life. i qualified as a web designer and got a part time job working from home.
This good stuff was not going to last forever and the strain of having to look after me and two children was too much for my husband to cope with and we parted company.
He had started to develop his own health problems and become Bipolar amongst other things.

 My extended family and I had lost contact years before because of their attitude towards the M.S not believing I had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease.

I now found myself without a husband and extended family I realised I would have to do something about this autoimmune disease finally once and for all this started me on the Lyme journey.