Monday, 10 December 2012

Fears & Phobias

Hello all,

I wrote about my panic attacks in the previous post :

I realised I did not write about my fears that I used to suffer from I thought to help others if I wrote about what fears I used to have it may just help others.and to see you are not on your own and you are not going crazy!

When the panic attacks started I would fear:
The end of the world
The dark
being on my own
Map reading
Opening any mail (Yeah I know paying bills nobody likes) for me my heart would race I would have uncontrollable sweating.
I became almost agoraphobic and found it extremely hard to leave the house.
New places
Loud Noises i.e fireworks
Any new experiences
Anything I did not within my usual day to day living.My brain just could not cope with that it would be like I would have a complete and utter breakdown so to speak.
People being aggressive.(I would just totally not be able to cope and I would sweat profusely)

Now before the panic attacks all of the above were never a problem for me then the panic attacks started and my fears and phobias started.
I am sure there were more than the ones I have listed I just can't remember them all.

Now I am treating the Infection I do not suffer from the above fears and phobias thank goodness.
Lyme Girlx
**Always consult a LLMD (Lyme Literate Doctor) or your own health care professional.** 

Copyright 2012-2013  LymeGirl all rights reserved.

The Panic Attacks & Lyme are you crazy?

Hello all,

Panic Attacks are probably one of the scariest experiences one goes through when you have a Spirochete infection it's really awful!
One can feel like the panic will never subside and you can't breath.
I have suffered from the panic and I managed to find a brown paper bag to breath into to calm my breathing down. I would be crying and I would not be able to function properly my brain just stopped working as it were all I could feel was sheer panic.

The First

The first panic attack I had I was driving my car,  I had to pull over and park.

I was all on my own luckily, I say luckily because I would not want my children to witness their mother loosing it.

I had no explanation of why I was experiencing the Panic Attack.

What also came with the panic attack was a racing pulse, I could hear the thud thud of my heart in my head!

I felt this terrible feeling of impending doom like the world was going to end there and then.

Then the sweating started and sweat was dripping and the back of my neck and hair were sodden!

And so it went on...

From that day onwards the panic attack turned into many gosh anything would set it off yes anything!
I really thought i was going crazy, I thought that's it I am going to have to admit myself into hospital or start taking antidepressants or Valium!.

These panic attacks were unexplainable because we had just bought our new house and everything was very exciting I was happy to have our new house a home we could call our own.

The house was in a nice area my husband at the time had just got a new well paid job my children had made new friends and were excited about being able to decorate their new rooms, we were able to get some pets.

Little were my husband I to know that we had the Spirochete infection, yes we knew I had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis we were just coping with that on a day to day basis trying to live as normal life as possible.

Yes we were all very happy with our lives.

Then the panic attacks started with me, how could this be? nothing traumatic had happened I was happy.

The panic attacks got so bad I was finding it hard to lead a normal life.
Driving was out of the question I became confused,  it was like I was suffering from amnesia sometimes.
My mind was just go blank I would not be able to remember my own date of birth even.

I suffered from chills just before the panic attacks, my chest would feel so tight like someone was standing on my lungs no not someone an elephant!

While all this was going on with me my husband started to develop breathing problems now he had been diagnosed years ago with asthma but this was not asthma.
He was coughing up liquid.
He went to the doctor who surprise surprise found nothing wrong with him!

I thought maybe there was something wrong with the house or the land or something else maybe the cats we had?

Long story short.....


Well my husband and i have divorced now and the children and I are living in another house now.
My panic attacks left as quickly as they came after I had suffered them for about 2 years.
Although feelings of fear were still with me and feelings of impending doom yes they never left but I did not get the full blown panic attacks.I suppose like all the symptoms I just learnt to live with them it was not nice.

I was able to start driving again and I was able to start to live a normal life again.
Now I have found out about Spirochete infection and extensively researched it we can defiantly say Lyme/Spirochete infection was the cause of all those panic attacks.


Now I have started treatment those feelings of impending doom and the fear have totally gone.
I now finally can actually relax and I feel safe and calm all of the time.
The flight or fight response has now righted itself in me and I suppose I am now more of a normal human being.

So if you are feeling like you are going crazy because of panic attacks you are not it is more than likely a Spirochete infection and if you have not done so already get yourself tested.
If you are reading this and you already know you have a Spirochete infection realise panic attacks are a symptom of the infection you are not crazy.


 **Always consult a LLMD (Lyme Literate Doctor) or your own health care professional.** 

Copyright 2012-2013  LymeGirl all rights reserved.

The Neck attack and Lyme!

Hello all,

As I said before the same old symptoms pop up and make their presence known and I thought the day things seem to be a bit quite again I am feeling good but I spoke too soon My neck started to hurt and this took me back to when I was 17 years old.

Back in time

Lets go back to that time.

I was studying at collage I had chosen to study a Hotel and Catering Management course a BTEC which is equivalent to 2 A levels. Considering I was suffering from Lyme (Unknown to the doctors, my parents and teachers) 
It is actually quite surprising I passed my GCSE's really as from the time of the bite age 9. 

My I.Q had dropped, my reading age had dropped and my maths age had dropped quite dramatically. 

So for me to actually revise and study for any type of exam and pass  is quite a feat!

I think every one else felt the same,  as no one knew about Lyme or Spirochete infection from their point of view and the  evidence,
I was a child who had learning problems. or I was an attention seeker or just plain lazy!

My teachers had given up on me no, basically everyone had saying things like:

 "She'll never amount to anything" or "she is just not focused, a bit of a ditherer".

 Real nice hey.

17 years old

Well I did pass all of my GCSE's.

Then I was then able to attend collage. 

I remember feeling at the time angry that everyone had given up,  

This is what gave me the drive and determination to 1 pass my GCSE's and to go to collage. 

Or was it because I would of naturally have been academic?

Because of a spirochete Infection this hindered me to a point with learning ability. 

Well we will probably never know. Mozart did have Syphillis and look at what he accomplished and if you 

want to know anything about Lyme look at Syphillis.

What I do know is since treating the Spirochete infection with MMS, 
My I.Q has risen, my cognitive ability is better, my language and communication skills are now second to none basically I have my brain back! No brain fog!

Neck Attack

One morning age 17,  I woke up and I could not turn my head my neck was raging with pain a burning sharp electric shock type pain. 

Of course I told my parents whose reaction was "don't you want to go to collage?" and "You probably slept the wrong way put a rolled up towel around your neck, you will be OK"

I went to the local chemist and bought a neck collar which seemed to aliveate the pain slightly made an appointment for the doctor.

Well the doctor had no explanation and said 
"give it a few days here is a prescription"

I was referred to a physiotherapist, In the UK back then one had to wait probably weeks for a physiotherapist on the NHS.

I felt humiliated having to wear a collar around my neck what 17 year old wouldn't? 
Neck collars are not cool and certainly not a fashion statement!

I had visions of me in my old age having to wear a neck collar and this scared me! 

Thoughts of how could I manage a hotel or even a burger bar with this on my neck! 
People looking at me strangely for the rest of my life! 

Me unable to turn my head or even nod.

Strange Symptoms

You see when one gets strange symptoms I think the one major fear is are you stuck with it for the rest of your life. 
Having to adjust ones own life.

From having to adjust to being blind or deaf, unable to walk, incontinence, loss of swallow, vertigo or being unable to turn ones head the list goes on.

The worst of it is the doctors have no answers all they could do was put one out of ones misery and pain as best they could. 

Seeing as the medical profession is about 30 years behind (more like 100years) with the understanding of Lyme or spirochaete infection all the doctors can do is what they have learned.

I felt well if the doctor has no answers I must be stuck like this!


The pain was unbelievable unexplainable awful. It was so frustrating having to adjust my life frustrating not being able to turn my head.

Mentally it affected me. I felt useless hopeless helpless deppressed.  

I was not the sort of person to just give up!

I could not read books properly as my neck was so sore I could not hold the book in one place for very long.

 I could not write I could not drive I could not cook for myself.

I had just woken up one day and my whole life as I knew it just stopped dead in it's tracks!

The neck problem I had was just the start of what I call the dramatic symptoms the symptoms that would take over my life time and time again and always as each symptom appeared, 

I would have that fear that I would be stuck with it for the rest of my life.

It did not help that those around me did not believe me either talk about support! 

Well I was actually used to the feelings of failure and no support seeing as since the bite that is what my life had become. 


In some ways I suppose it made me stronger as a human being,

made me who I am today. 

Maybe this is one of the things I could be thankful to the Spirochete infection for,

 or my own human spirit or both well there are reasons for everything aren't there?

My neck did get back to normal after about a month and I was so grateful I could loose that blasted neck collar and carry on with my life I soon forgot all about it, until the next time it happened over the years and of course now.


Well yes I woke up a couple of days ago,  My neck was raging in pain and very stiff. 
But this time the neck symptoms were shall we say not as dramatic as the one I had at age 17 and over the yearts. 

I just took my morning dose of MMS and took it real easy, after my second dose of MMS at night, 

waking up the next morning neck was fine.

Now maybe this was the last of the die off or maybe some Lyme fragments on the one major joint in my body, my neck who knows.

I am just so grateful that it di not last long.

My family and their necks

My Mother:

Had a neck problem she wore a collar and constanly took pain killers for the pain. 

It did not help that on a couple of occasions she had a couple of accidents with her neck.

I would say know I know about the Spirochete infection and the horse fly bite I got, 

most of her neck problems were because of the spirochte infection.

She was also diagnosed with Low thyroid which we now know is connected to Lyme or Spirochete infection.

My mother has been taking MMS for about half the time of my brother and I.

My Brother :

From about age 7, my brother always complained about a sore neck. 

My Grandmother would say this is not right a boy of that age complaing about a sore neck boys his age don't have sore necks like that.

He now tells me that the pain he suffered was like having a rod stuck through his spine, 

he found it real hard to turn his head. 

The pain he experienced was like sharp electric shocks,  he says it was just something he learned to live with. 

Why should he have to of gone through that for most of his life?

Now he is taking the MMS he now says that his neck is better,   he has no electric shock sensations or pain and the rod has finally gone!

As I have said my brother was also diagnosed with M.S but we now know that M.S should be renamed 
Multiple Spirochetes thanks to Lida Mattman. 

Refer to the following link where this wonderful lady at a presentation at a conference in Chicago in 2006 at the Autoimmune Research Foundation. 

He has been taking MMS about the same amount of time as myself and my children.

My Children

Both my children have always complained about a sore neck. 

When they were younger they did not have the ability to express verbally what they felt or what the symptoms were, like any young child.

Now they are in their teens they now of course do have the ability to verbalise,  now can explain what they went through.

My eldest says: 

"There was a rod running from the top of my head right down to my toes.
It felt like something was preventing me from moving properly or with ease. It was quite painful.
I would get sharp pains in my neck like something was stabbing me all the time.
I just learnt to live with it and cope with it, what else could I do?.
Now since I have been treating myself the rod has disappeared it's gone! the pain has gone and nothing is stabbing me anymore!"

My conclusion

From the evidence of  my family and myself and our neck attacks, the fact that we are all treating ourselves, their neck symptoms have  gone.

Now I can safely say and so can they, yes we all had a spirochete infection. 

All because of a horse fly I was bitten by at age 9.

 I can just say that we are all so grateful that we have found out the cause of all our symptoms

and that our necks are sorted no more neck attacks!

I think I may have had the neck symptoms back for a fleeting 2 days perhaps because,
I was the one who got bitten and my mother, brother were infected by me and my children had congenital 

Lyme or Spirochete infection.

Don't get me wrong I feel very responsible for my Brother and my Mother.

I feel immensely responsible that I infected my children who are the most important humans in my life.

I have guilt and I have anger.

I would never knowingly infect anyone or anything if I had known I had this terrible infection that is like an 

octopus that affects every area of ones life.

I know it was not my fault and I did not infect the human race with this infection.

My family also tell me it was not my fault and they do not blame me and are very grateful that I found out about Lyme and Spirochete infection and ultimately MMS.

So there was a reason I qualified as a Web Developer or I would never of done any web surfing and come across the info about Lyme and the Lyme conspiracy or MMS or 

seen Lida Mattman  and saved my family and my own lives! 

Yep there are reasons for everything the universe does work in mysterious ways.

So I suppose in a way I have in some ways been able to release the guilt as now they have been saved. 

Lyme Girl x

 **Always consult a LLMD (Lyme Literate Doctor) or your own health care professional.**

 Copyright 2012-2013  LymeGirl all rights reserved.